when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
