Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
