How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
