Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
