My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize