she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
