Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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