Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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