I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize