you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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