pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
