So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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