Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
