So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
