I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
