I wanna passion pit in your ass
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
