my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize