who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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