OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize