so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
