He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
