Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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