but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
