So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
