I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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