his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
