just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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