see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
