No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
