it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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