i just google imaged poop.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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