Kiss
Puke
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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