I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Boobs are out for the taking
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
