She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
