youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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