1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize