He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
