xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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