My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you never un-have a 4some
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
