'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I need a beard to bite.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize