Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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