Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize