can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
