Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
