So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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