but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
