There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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