If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
