can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
