I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
