Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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