hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
