She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
