I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
