Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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