THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
