Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
