I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
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