Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
