Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
