She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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