Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
