mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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